


Rollercoaster

by silverdoll14



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When friendship and somewhat love clash, it was like a roller coaster ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rollercoaster

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted at silverdoll14.livejournal.com almost 2 years ago.
> 
> This is the edited version although edits and beta are made by me so you might still see some mistakes I may have overlook.  
> Hope you will enjoy this. 
> 
> Inspired by true events

It was just a normal meeting, how a  **Kim Jaejoong**  met a certain  **Jung Yunho**. They were classmates in fourth grade of their elementary years. They were playing with each other, together with some of their classmates who like them chose to stay at the school playground and play rather than go straight back home. They were chasing each other, snickering and laughing their hearts’ content like they’ve known each other even before they even got out of diapers when it fact Jaejoong didn’t even know Yunho’s existence before the first roll call they had in the first day of their class that year.  
  
With his young mind, Jaejoong didn’t know why it felt special especially the times Yunho would catch him and started tickling him like there was no tomorrow yet those touches were still gentle and so warm.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Noona, how do you know if a person likes you?” Jaejoong asked one night when he was alone with one of his eight older sisters. If all of his older sisters were there, definitely he wouldn’t live a single day without the catastrophe of their restless teasing.  
  
Hyeji, their fourth eldest was the only present and out of all his older sisters, Jaejoong could trust the fact that she was the only one who would mum about things like this.  
  
Jaejoong looked at her, blinking his doe-like eyes with innocence and his noona could only answer with a ruffle on his hair and a giggle. Jaejoong blinked again, concluding maybe he was too assuming to jump to that kind of conclusion.  _(Well, who wouldn’t? Out of everyone Yunho played with, may it be girls or boys, he was the only one who Yunho would catch and tickle nonstop. Isn’t that showing affection? His sisters would always do it to him when they are showing their affection to him too.)_  
  
Even so, one thing was for sure. He had developed a liking to Yunho.  
  
_(And he’s also safe from all the teasing of his older sisters… Or so he thought?)_  
  
  
  
  
  
“NOONA!” Jaejoong whined with a pout. His cheeks tainted with blush as his older sisters started chanting his so-called secret question.  
  
“Noona, how do you know if a person likes you?” one of his sister imitated him and then squealed, “Kyaaah~ Baby Joongie is so cute!”  
  
Another shade of red in his cheeks…  
  
“So Jaejoong thinks he has a secret admirer? Uwaaah~”  
  
Jaejoong puffed his cheeks, glaring at the culprit who let out his secret. His Hyeji noona on the other hand just smiled at him like she didn’t do anything wrong.  
  
“So, did this person already confess to you Jaejoong ah?”  
  
A hand on his face to hide his embarrassment…  
  
“My baby brother is growing up already! Omo!”  
  
His other hand landed in his face to cover his red cheeks the next…  
  
“Wait, if he is asking like that then… then Joongie must like this person too?”  
  
“Noona~” Jaejoong pouted fully embarrassed with all this ‘harassment’ his sisters had imposed.  
  
“She must be really beautiful making our brother blush like this~”  
  
Statements and questions had bombard yet that last question alone made Jaejoong froze on his spot. Surely, Yunho was a really beautiful person but definitely he was a _he_ and never was a she.  
  
“Uhm…” Jaejoong couldn’t utter a word anymore.

 

Seeing the discomfort within Jaejoong’s face, the mother who kept her silence finally gave a gentle order. “Now now girls, leave your younger brother alone. Dinner’s ready.” And the eight sisters did complied.  
  
Jaejoong sighed in relief. But even with his only then 10 year old heart, he learned he couldn’t like Yunho like a boy could like a girl.  
  
  
  
  
Everything then seemed futile knowing every day you could see the other boy five times a week and the other boy was nothing but adorable. That was when he actually started paying attention to the other boy. He learned that Yunho was actually living in the same subdivision as him only in a different street. Yunho was also good in Science and also a sporty guy who achieved medals from competitions especially in Hapkido.  
  
Jaejoong then finally settled that he was Yunho’s admirer, _a fan_. Hey, it was still different from liking Yunho right? It was different from the _‘like-like’_ thingy, right? After all, a fan was someone who was worried when the one he admired got sick. _(But then, Jaejoong got paranoid when Yunho did suddenly got sick and was sent to the clinic at the middle of class.)_ A fan also get tiny-winy jealous when the one he admire was happily chatting with others.  _(Actually, he wanted to scowl at their class president for being too comfortable with Yunho.)_  Well, he was Yunho’s fan so it was okay right? It wasn’t like because he liked Yunho right?  As in _like-like_? He was just a fan and he’d really settle for that.  _(Plus it a bonus how Yunho still keep chasing and tickles him when he would catch the smaller boy unlike when Yunho did to their other playmates.)_  
  
  
  
  
  
A year later, Yunho and Jaejoong separated ways.  _(It was actually just an exaggeration since it was just that they weren’t in the same class anymore.)_ But still Jaejoong kept track of Yunho’s whereabouts. It’s part of a _fan’s job_ right? Also, he was still happy Yunho would still remember him despite not in same class. They would share Hi’s and Hello’s here and there, a smile, a nod and even a wave and surely Jaejoong could cope with that, not until…  
  
“Yunho, I have something to tell you…”  
  
Jaejoong’s silent tracks came at halt as his ears picked up a voice calling Yunho’s name all of a sudden. He just came from his classroom to get something he had forgotten and was heading home already when he could hear voices coming from a corridor connecting by a corner to the one he was walking in.  
  
“Oh, what is it?”  
  
Definitely it was Yunho’s voice. Jaejoong knew it was wrong to eavesdrop at other people’s conversations but his body wouldn’t cooperate until he heard what the other boy got to say.  _(Yes, it was a boy’s voice other than Yunho’s.)_  
  
“I really like you…” the other boy whispered but with the solitude of the empty school building provided, Jaejoong heard every word clearly and his chest ached for an unknown reason yet it wasn’t the biggest blow yet.  
  
“I like you too Junsu…” and before he knew it, he was running away like running for his life.  
  
  
  
  
  
**Kim Junsu** , a boy in the same class as Jaejoong’s and not the same as Yunho’s yet he was able to get the latter’s attention.  Who wouldn’t anyways? Who wouldn’t notice this cute boy who had a habit of producing dolphin-like sounds when he got excited? Who wouldn’t like this boy who also happened to possess such an angelic voice when he sang in front of everyone?  
  
Jaejoong envied him. No, it was not because of the characteristics or talents Junsu possessed or getting Yunho’s attention.  _(Maybe it was a part of it? Okay, it did play a big role in that envy.)_ But because he was able to do what he wanted to do for a long time, to confess to Jung Yunho.  
  
_(Screw that denial stage!)_  
  
  
  
  
  
It was one afternoon when he was humming to a song, singing some of its lyrics if he remembered them correctly when suddenly,  
  
“Wow, you have an amazing voice!”  
  
“Argh!” Jaejoong yelped and then sighed in relief afterwards as he saw who just spoke. It was frightening when suddenly someone would speak when you knew no one was around. “You scared a hell out of me!” Jaejoong whined making the other boy to laugh, his dolphin-like laugh.  
  
“Sorry, I forgot my soccer ball so I came to get it but then I heard you singing so I couldn’t help but be in awe.” Junsu beamed, entering the empty classroom.  
  
“Uhm… yeah? Thanks… I guess?” Jaejoong stuttered not knowing how to take that compliment. No one really heard him sing before except for family and so he didn’t know how to respond if other people did hear him singing. He couldn’t meet the other’s eyes and so he continued his task as he felt Junsu moving around, probably retrieving his soccer ball. He placed back the broom, groaning a bit for he still had to water the plants and also wipe the blackboard. He really hated his group mates for leaving him alone, saying they had done their part in cleaning duty already when there was so much things to do yet. Jaejoong sighed long and tired, knowing probably that Junsu left already and he was alone once again but his speculations were wrong when he saw the other boy still in the room, smiling at him like waiting for something.  
  
“Eh?” Jaejoong blinked and then scratched the back of his head and asked, “Is there something I can help you with?”  
  
He was still clueless as what was the other waiting especially that he already got what he was looking for.  
  
“I want to hear you sing.”  
  
“Huh?” Jaejoong gaped, not believing what the other just said.  
  
“You really have a nice voice. I want to hear you sing again.” Junsu clapped excitedly, waiting for Jaejoong to grant his impromptu request. And who couldn’t actually resist such a sweet guy? Jaejoong then sang just what he felt.  
  
And before he knew it, his once rival was actually a friend.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Well it’s not bad to like someone like Yunho hyung. I mean, he’s friendly, athletic, handsome, someone who isn’t hard to approach.” Junsu admitted one afternoon when the two were alone fixing the mini library of their classroom.  
  
With the months they’d been friends, talking about personal things were common especially with Junsu who was actually talkative and very cheerful.  _(Although this would be the first time Junsu opened something involving Yunho.)_  
  
Jaejoong observed from afar how Yunho and Junsu’s relationship didn’t change since that confession unlike what he had predicted.  _(Actually, their relationship wasn’t different from what Jaejoong had shared with Yunho and admittedly, Jaejoong was happy about it. That meant that Junsu’s so-called status to Yunho’s radar wasn’t higher than his.)_  
  
Maybe Junsu and Yunho just _like each other as friends_. But with all these, Jaejoong just accepted that whatever it was, he would be happy for both of them, especially for Yunho since he was a fan. But heck this still involved Yunho and his friend,  _(Well, he’s mostly interested in the part of Yunho.)_  and so he hummed, his way of saying he was listening.  
  
“It’s no wonder we both like him ne, Jaejoong hyung?”  
  
Jaejoong hummed in approval of Junsu’s statement, waiting for the younger of them two to continue until his eyes widened upon the realization of what Junsu was implying and the latter seemed to be enjoying Jaejoong’s flustering that he couldn’t help but to chuckle at Jaejoong’s reaction.  
  
“But I… no… I mean… I-… it’s…” Jaejoong tried to justify but stopped when Junsu’s hand was in the air although he was still laughing.  
  
“You are so cute… hahahaha~” Junsu laughed more and Jaejoong could just pout.  
  
“I’ve seen you hyung and I know you like him too…” Junsu admitted and when Jaejoong tried to voice out his protest, the younger one retorted immediately, “Don’t you deny it!”  
  
“Fine!” Jaejoong sighed, giving up in denying. He couldn’t remove the worry that he was too obvious.  
  
“On the side note, No… you’re not obvious… I just could see it with how your eyes were looking at him, especially every time we met Yunho hyung by the corridor… I would know. I like him too…”  
  
“Eh?” Jaejoong gaped once more. How the hell Junsu did know what he was thinking?  
  
“…because you’re practically saying it out loud probably without you realizing it, hyung.” Junsu pinpointed, laughing next when Jaejoong covered his face in embarrassment.  
  
“Oh, you two are still here?”  
  
Jaejoong instantly turned his head to the familiar voice and indeed, it was Yunho.  
  
“Yeah, we are assigned to do inventory for the books in our mini library. And you hyung?” Junsu asked while Jaejoong couldn’t help but be jealous with how Junsu could talk to Yunho without stuttering.  
  
“I was assigned also in our class. When I was done, I heard a laugh so I peek in. Still not done?” Yunho asked and this time Yunho’s gaze met Jaejoong’s, making the latter blush more. Knowing he couldn’t trust his voice, Jaejoong just gave a nod.  
  
“It’s getting late. I better help you guys.” Yunho smiled, discarding his backpack to a seat nearby and stride towards where they were. Jaejoong sweared his heart was leaping and so he just concentrated on their task at hand. Jaejoong took a side-glance towards the youngest of them three and with how Junsu was smiling; Jaejoong knew the other was giving him a knowing look.  
  
Jaejoong just shook his head with amusement. Sharing not just a task but also interest with a friend didn’t seemed bad at all. Well, he was still considered a fan right so now, he and Junsu were both proud fans of Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
Maybe at some point, he did get over with this Yunho thing. Add the fact that in a row, he wasn’t able to share a class with him. So his attention shifted elsewhere.  Although he and Junsu  _(who thankfully was in the same class with him again.)_ did talk about the guy from time to time, it seemed there wasn’t much spark anymore. They did share hi’s and hello’s at a given time and some quick chats yet the feeling of admiration wasn’t that strong anymore. And then there came also another boy by the name of Choi Siwon  _(who he didn’t knew the existence of again till the guy had ask him about their first assignment at the first week of their class.)_  that got his attention.  
  
**Choi Siwon**. He was smart, athletic, handsome and completely gentleman. It only took him weeks and he knew he grew a crush towards the guy.  _(Screw the denial stage. He had so outgrown it already.)_ He treasured it as he was able to build friendship with one of the coolest guys in their batch till it turned for the worst when he finally became honest with his feelings.  
  
“Are you for real Jaejoong?” Siwon’s eyes widened as he hissed every word right after Jaejoong laid down the bomb. They were alone in the room when everyone got out and went to a gathering. Jaejoong thought this could be a perfect time to confess to Siwon.  
  
“I know it’s a bit sudden but I do like you Siwon-ah.” Jaejoong said, biting his lower lip as he watched Siwon’s eyebrows scrunching together.  
  
“I…” Siwon started, trying to find words to reply and when he finally did, it left Jaejoong rooted in his place.  
  
“It’s better if we keep our distance from each other Jaejoong-sshi…”  
  
That were Siwon’s last words before he walked away to join all of their batch mates in their gathering in the gymnasium.  
  
He could feel hurt in his chest but there were no tears that threaten to fall.  Alone in the corridor after getting out their room, Jaejoong remembered the incidence of eavesdropping with Junsu and Yunho’s talk. Out of nowhere, he asked his self  _what if he did confess to Yunho back then._  
  
  
  
  
  
“Yet you didn’t cry?” Junsu asked when Jaejoong explained the sudden cold shoulder he was getting from Siwon. Jaejoong shook his head, writing something in his notebook. They decided to hang out a bit in their classroom even if everyone had already long gone home except for those who had club practices after class. Junsu blinked, quite shocked. Definitely he would cry when suddenly a friend treated you a stranger all of a sudden especially if it was someone who you like. Of course it would be awkward but clearly his Jaejoong hyung just voice out his feelings. Siwon shouldn’t act like Jaejoong was the most disgusting thing in the world.  
  
“Not a single tear?” Junsu confirmed and Jaejoong shook his head before glancing through the window, and was lost in thought a minute later. He didn’t notice how Junsu followed his gaze, seeing his attention was towards the soccer players of their school who was taking their afternoon jog before practice that was led by the team captain, Jung Yunho.  _(And supposedly Junsu was there but he chose to ditch practice for he didn’t feel like it and so he stayed behind with Jaejoong.)_  
  
Jaejoong wasn’t aware that Junsu had been noting him, wondering if his feelings did fade away like he had claimed when clearly Junsu could still see the spark in his eyes as he observed Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
  
“You’re moving to Japan?” Jaejoong exclaimed on a sunny day in their summer vacation when they were in their first year of high school.  
  
“Yeah… my mom got a transfer in their company and it seemed my dad is also getting one soon… so Junho and I will continue our studies there.” Junsu said as he smashed buttons of the controller. Even though Jaejoong wasn’t a gamer like his friend, it would still be one of their past times to play games and right now, with Junsu’s news, he didn’t feel like playing anymore.  
  
Seeing the inactivity of his friend, Junsu had to pause the game and looked at Jaejoong.  
  
“Come on hyung, don’t give me that look…” Junsu said, playfully covering his eyes like he was some kind of annoyed with Jaejoong’s pout that was now showing.  
  
“Yah!”  Jaejoong then playfully tackled his younger friend and a tickling competition started with Jaejoong winning after wards. A pregnant pause emerged after their laughter erupting throughout Junsu’s house until Jaejoong spoke, “I don’t know… it’ll just feel lonely without you.” He admitted.  
  
Junsu sighed and then hugged his friend, “Aw, look at the brighter side, you’ll have Yunho hyung all to yourself.”  
  
SMACK!  
  
“Bapo!” Jaejoong cackled while Junsu pouted. He wasn’t aware Junsu meant more but he’d let his hyung to discover it himself.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a bit blur how Junsu’s departure made him and Yunho to be close once again to the point they’d wait each other so they could go home together. All he remembered was before Junsu moved to Japan, they would go to Junsu’s place at any given time and spend it either playing or fooling around.  _(It was unbelievable to the point he even got to talking terms with Siwon since he too would go to Junsu’s place with them.)_  
  
He even got a new friend by the name of Park Yoochun, a transferee who just got back from America. He didn’t know the guy’s existence until he was introduced to him by Yunho even though they were actually both members of music club.  _(He really needed to start paying attention with all the people in their batch. They were already in high school and Jaejoong didn’t know any more than a quarter of their batch mates.)_  
  
He wasn’t complaining but confusion started playing with his mind.   _(No, it wasn’t the same anymore as the one he had when he was still in his fourth grade. He was far too old for that. And he already accepted the fact he like guys more the girls.)_  
  
Of course it would be normal for friends to call each other and talk over the phone for hours talking things in nonsense  _(or had an actual sense at times)_. It would also be normal if you feel jealous sometimes that he was spending more time with his other friends  _(especially since they were still not in the same class.)_ and you would like to spend more time with your best friend right? And definitely you would also feel jealous learning Yunho and Junsu had more contact than he did. Okay, maybe he was just exaggerating too much but it couldn’t really be help if he felt left out somehow that he felt down about it because maybe Yunho didn’t really care at all for him  _(even just tiny-winy care…)_  not until the one afternoon…  
  
They were in their way home when Jaejoong had the biggest shock in his life. They stopped by a convenient store that time to quench some thirst when…  
  
“Yunho? Jung Yunho?” Their heads both snapped back, removing their eyes from the aisle of cool beverages and came face to face with a girl around their age.  
  
“Oh, Yeonhee!” Yunho smiled in acknowledgement, giving small pat on the girl’s head. Jaejoong was confused for a moment. It was the first time he met this girl and definitely she was not from their school as he observed her uniform. She wasn’t even around from here. Of course, there was a courteous smile just for the sake of not being rude yet there was a churn of jealous lurking in his heart.  
  
“Long time no see. And who might this be? Is he your boyfriend?”  
  
Jaejoong’s eyes widened at Yeonhee’s blunt statement slash question and he could tell she was serious in saying that but come on, is she for real? Although it sounded ridiculous for a moment, he did felt a flutter on his heart that melted quickly the churn he earlier felt and his red tinted cheeks had said it all.  
  
“No.” Yunho’s short reply came and it did made his heart sank in an instant even though he did expected that. What could he expect anyways other than that answer? They were just friends _(best friends he may say)_  and both of them were guys. What a cruel life Jaejoong ha-  
  
“But Jaejoong was my crush before!”  
  
“Huh?” Jaejoong spurted when Yunho’s words rang a bell. He looked at his friend, surprised, blinking twice, or even thrice, trying to process every word that escape his best friend’s mouth.  
  
Was it his wishful thinking or did he just heard Yunho saying those in a proud manner? And then it dawned to his processing mind that Yunho had putted an arm around his shoulder, to pull him closer.  
  
“Oh, and I thought you two were going out. You two looked good together.”  
  
Jaejoong lost it then. Lost in sheer happiness and at the same time shyness that he ended up looking down, taking the floor somewhat more interesting than anything and he couldn’t really trust his voice right that moment. He could feel his heart beating wildly. ‘ _Is this a sudden confession?’_  he thought but then he didn’t want to get his hopes high and so he just smiled, shyness still occupying his face.  
  
“Yeonhee!”  
  
“Oh I got to go. It was nice seeing you again Yunho!” Yeonhee said after hearing someone calling for her. She patted Yunho’s shoulder and then faced Jaejoong, “Nice meeting you Jaejoong.” Yeonhee smiled as she offered her hand which Jaejoong took and replied with the same greeting.  
  
“Bye Yeonhee!” Yunho finally said his goodbye.  
  
When they were once left alone again, there was a bit awkwardness that was never present in the years they had been friends until now and Jaejoong tried his luck to remove it by asking something thought not directing to the topic he was most curious about. After all, awkwardness between them was the last thing Jaejoong would want to last.  
  
“Who’s that?” Jaejoong asked while glancing back to the aisle of beverages like Yunho did the moment they were left alone.  
  
“Lee Yeonhee. She was the female representative opposing our team in Hapkido Regional before.” Yunho replied still contemplating whether to get strawberry milk or chocolate milk. Jaejoong on the other hand made an ‘O’ sound. He opened his mouth once again to ask another but his mind wouldn’t cooperate and so he just huffed his cheeks and then pouted towards Yunho’s direction. He didn’t care anymore and he trusted Yunho to know what he really wanted to know.  
  
“What?” Yunho asked not in an annoyed way but rather with fondness. Jaejoong who knew he had Yunho’s attention still the same while eyeing the younger one, his lower lip stuck out than his upper lips just so Yunho could see how curious he was. “Okay!” Yunho said half-laughing already and raised both his hand in mock surrender which both held a strawberry milk and chocolate milk he had been examining a minute ago. “I did have a crush on you. You were so cute back then.” Yunho admitted, ruffling his head after securing both milk at one hand.  
  
“So you mean I’m not cute anymore?” Jaejoong said and then pouted a bit more although it was actually his way of hiding his surprised with how bold he became that moment to be able to ask that.  
  
“Of course you are. You princess~” Yunho said with a tease and then added, “Come, I’m buying these!”  Yunho chuckled while putting his hand in each of Jaejoong’s shoulder, guiding him towards the counter with both flavored milks still in each of his hands.  
  
“Why are you buying strawberry milk? I thought you don’t like strawberry much.” Jaejoong continued to ask, trying to distract his self. The feeling of Yunho’s chest behind him made everything so… exploded. He knew his face already looked like a tomato as every detail still tried to sink in.  
  
“Yeah, but you love it so I’m buying you one.” Yunho replied like that was the most obvious fact for all the people around, yet Yunho didn’t have a single clue what it did to Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong tried to calm his heart. He did admit that his feelings for Yunho  _(Yeah… not anymore a crush mind you.)_  never really left and now learning Yunho did share the same feelings  _(It may be just a crush but it will suffice.)_  at some point made him really happy. No matter what those feelings were before or now, Jaejoong was happy that Yunho did care even till now that he even remembered a little detail about how Jaejoong loved anything that had to do with strawberries.  
  
  
  
  
  
Even so, nothing really much changed since that, always by each other’s side, helping each other at times.  Of course there were also small fights here and there that didn’t really last long. Surprisingly, he wasn’t a disappointment  _(because clearly if your crush somehow confessed to you about his feelings, even if it was a past. Surely, there will be changes right? It may go to awkwardness or someone will take a move already)_  because he was really contented with the friendship he shared with Yunho. It was different kind of friendship he had with their other friend, Yoochun.  
  
“You know, if I knew better. I’d say you two were going out like everyone speculates.” Yoochun said one time when they were by the grassy field, watching Yunho practicing for their upcoming soccer game against another school. Jaejoong raised any eyebrow at Yoochun, smiling like saying  _‘seriously’_ to him. Jaejoong was well aware of what had Yoochun said. Some of his classmates did tell him that he and Yunho looked like a couple and he did felt giddy about it. He wondered how Yunho felt about their so-called status. Jaejoong then just shrugged it off and observed Yunho who was practicing now his kicks.  
  
Even though Yunho had told him not to wait for him anymore, Jaejoong still insisted in doing so. Yoochun on the other hand had no choir practice, so the latter decided to wait together with him so all of them could go home together. They had been busy with their own extra co-curricular activities, Jaejoong with his now drama club, Yunho with his soccer and Yoochun with his choir, it was rare for them to get together after school like they used to.  
  
“How long have you known Yunho?” Yoochun asked to Jaejoong who was concentrating to Yunho’s every move.  
  
“I dunno… since… uhm..” Jaejoong paused and then a blush crept in his face remembering that in some point of those years, Yunho did have a crush on him. He cleared his throat before continuing, “Probably since we were 9 I guess…” Jaejoong said and then corrected his self, “…since fourth grade.”, and fondness was heard in his tone.  
  
 “Haven’t you confessed to him?” Yoochun asked after a pregnant paused. Jaejoong was taken back at Yoochun’s question. He shook his head with amusement and relaxed leaned back, his hands against the grassy field to support his upper torso’s weight.  
  
“Am I that obvious?” he chuckled his question.  
  
“Maybe… I dunno.” Yoochun replied, looking at his hand and rubbing it together before he supplied further his thoughts, “All I know is you really care for him…” he smiled to reassure Jaejoong.  
  
“Are you jealous?” Jaejoong asked, smirking while playfully elbowing Yoochun, He tried to ease out the tension that had been building.  
  
“Yes, I am jealous, Kim Jaejoong!” Yoochun said, faking hurt and it brought laughter to both of them. When the laughter ended, Jaejoong took another sigh and then looked towards Yunho’s direction who was now practicing with little game between members.  
  
Jaejoong took a side glance towards Yoochun. They’ve known him since their first year in high school, almost 3 years now but this would be the first time their talk would be so deep. Also, this particularly involved Yunho, the one who introduced them to each other, their common friend and for Jaejoong, a special person. Truthfully, Jaejoong was clueless where this talk could go and what consequences would this cost but this was Yoochun, the only person who knew him and Yunho thoroughly and he trusted him and so he poured everything he had been keeping.  
  
“I do care a lot about him.” Jaejoong admitted and then looked down. “But I honestly don’t know where I am standing right now.” Jaejoong said before letting out an honest yet sad smile.  
  
“I’m also scared if I let this feelings out… what happened to me and Siwon might happened between me and Yunho and that’s scares me a hell more than any terror teachers we have here.” Jaejoong said, adding another humor which had result another chuckle from him and Yoochun. And then another deep breath before he looked down, sitting up properly in an Indian sit as he played with his hands.  
  
“I don’t even know what my real feelings are for him…” Jaejoong disclosed with a small smile and then he added determinedly, “For now, all I want to stay beside him as long as I could and enjoy each moment I have with him.”  
  
Jaejoong then looked back to Yunho who was now waving at them. He was so busy waving back at Yunho that he failed to notice the inner battle with Yoochun but the said latter didn’t spoke a word and instead gave a squeeze in Jaejoong’s knee who smiled back at him before their attentions shifted back to Yunho who was now playing again. He knew Jaejoong didn’t want to rush things and so he’d just observed from afar how everything would progress.  
  
  
  
  
Jaejoong was in his alone moments when he chose to stay at his class room to wait for Yunho so they could go home together but the latter said he had to attend a club meeting first and so he decided to stay to wait. After all, he’d want to spend every minute he could with Yunho on his eighteenth birthday.  
  
He was in deep thought when his talk with Yoochun just months ago played on his mind. Next year will be their last year in high school and Jaejoong was unsure whether he and Yunho would be in the same university or they’d go on separate ways, after all both of them were pursuing different careers.  _(Well, that’s what he knew considering they do have a bit difference when it came to their interests. Take the clubs that they had joined for example.)_  
  
Jaejoong smiled bitterly realizing he only had one year left to be with Yunho almost every day. Would that be enough to leave enough memories that could mark Yunho about him? Poetic  _(or rather dramatic)_  as it may seemed knowing they’d been together ever since fourth grade and it was like almost 8 years ago but Jaejoong wanted to make sure. He was really feeling insecure all of sudden. Thoughts like  _‘What if he found more cooler friends?’_  or  _‘what if Yunho didn’t want to hang out with him anymore?’_ but what really made him frozen,  _‘What if he fell in love with somebody else?’_  
  
_Love?_  
  
Jaejoong didn’t have a clue. This was confusing than he thought.  
  
_“Do I really love him?”_  
  
He knew he had feelings, big feelings to be exact that never faded but he didn’t really want to jump to conclusions yet.  It was frightening.  He shook his head and calmed his racing heart. Whatever this was, all he wanted to do was make those remaining time to be wonderful memories, like those you’ll feel when you first rode your roller coaster ride. Those moments when there were down parts and then up parts that kept you excited even in just normal trail and at the end of the ride, memories of those moments lingered within you.  
  
  
Jaejoong then started comparing his ‘relationship’ with Yunho to a ride in a roller coaster. Heck, he named it already from it. Because like how years had passed since meeting and growing up with Yunho’s constant presence. It was hell a tupsy-turby ride.  It started with a blast that made you excited  _(like their first meetings, their play times, their hi’s and hellos)_ , and then a downhill that removed the tension for a bit  _(or more like a spark in their case)_. A swerve and twirl would come next where you’ll get dizzy, _( similar to the confusion he felt now regarding his feelings for Yunho)_ and then suddenly a peak, and before you knew it, it already ended. Jaejoong shook his head with how pathetic he had thought of these but then he couldn’t help but question his self,  _‘Would this roller coaster ride end at graduation?’_  
  
“There you are.” Jaejoong was removed from his reverie and smiled. Oh well, he would just think about that moment when the time would come.  
  
“Well, that was a long meeting.” Jaejoong said as he packed his things he realized he hadn’t yet.  
  
 “It wasn’t really easy to get back here from there.” Yunho grinned his reply at Jaejoong making him to raised his eyebrow in confusion.  
  
“Huh? Surely, it was just in another building Yunho.” Jaejoong asked, slinging his messenger bag to his shoulder and walked towards Yunho who he just noticed was trying to hide something in his back.  
  
“Well, I lied.” Yunho admitted and Jaejoong cocked his head to side because seriously, he was getting more and more confuse with what Yunho was implying.  
  
“Tada~” Yunho chirped and then showed the paper bag he had been hiding in his back. Jaejoong’s gawked in surprise at the paper bag Yunho was now handling him.  
  
“Happy Birthday Joongie!” Yunho added and Jaejoong couldn’t stop his self from blushing at the same time accepted the surprise gift his best friend  _(and also crush)_ gave him.  
  
He wasn’t expecting anything from Yunho. It was actually Jaejoong who had been the giver but never did he ask something from Yunho in return. Well, it was just simple gifts like cards and little necessities, usually giveaways he’d hand all his friends. Yunho was someone who wouldn’t give away small gifts such as giveaways unlike him but rather special gifts to those who were special to him. And now Yunho giving him something like this caught him overwhelmed with emotions. Out of the blue, he hugged the younger of them two.  
  
“Thank you!” Jaejoong said in a whisper he could muster right that moment. After all, he was still speechless.  _(He couldn’t also forget the fact that Yunho did an effort of attending a non-existent meeting just to give the latter time to buy him a gift.)_  He felt Yunho’s heartfelt laugh vibrating waves towards his nerves as the taller man held him so close too.  
  
“You’re welcome, Jae.” And Jaejoong never felt contented like this.  
  
Just a while ago, he was getting worried over only having a year to make every memory memorable but then again, Yunho had managed to erase that worries and even added new ones sure Jaejoong wouldn’t forget.  
  
GROWL!  
  
“Hmmm, it seemed someone got hungry.” Jaejoong teased as they both let go, having a glimpse of Yunho’s gentle blush and sheepish smile.  
  
“Come on, let’s get Yunnie bear some ice cream.” Jaejoong smiled and Yunho cheered as they made their way outside the school and to an ice cream parlor nearby.  
  
  
  
  
  
They were finally in their senior year and talk about college started getting serious. Application test here and there, scholarship offers flooding, everyone was hyped up landing spots in the universities of their choice. Choosing a career afterwards also made it scarier considering the changes in economy through time yet with all these, Jaejoong was still left unsure. But with graduation coming soon, he was pressured to decide.  
  
“So what are you guys planning to get?” Yoochun asked as he continued to write in his music notebook. They were in the park near their school, enjoying the nature’s gentle beauty in mid-afternoon. They got dismissed earlier than usual, saying preparations were needed for teacher’s conference and they took that chance to get together and laze around under a big oak tree before they buried their noses with their books and notes for their upcoming exams due in next week.  
  
Getting no response, Yoochun eyed Yunho who was lying on the grass in his right; his head was comfortably nestling against Jaejoong’s lap who was resting his back against the tree. After seeing their friend was snoozing of given that the guy had his mouth slightly open and drooling  _(and probably his eyes will also open despite sleeping because that was one of his weird sleeping habits and Jaejoong understanding it, put his own handkerchief to slightly covered Yunho’s place.)_  Yoochun asked Jaejoong instead.  
  
“I’m not really sure.” Jaejoong thought for a while then shrugged, “Culinary arts maybe? It make sense since Mom is a chef and I do enjoy cooking too.” Jaejoong said, more like convincing his self rather than Yoochun.  
  
Yoochun shrugged and then pointed his mouth towards Yunho’s sleeping form. Jaejoong shook his head, not having a clue about Yunho’s plan in the future and Jaejoong felt a little thug in his heart with little time he had left with him around and that’s another downfall of his roller coaster ride.  _(See? He really did call his relationship with Yunho a roller coaster ride now.)_  
  
  
  
  
  
Jaejoong sighed for the nth time this night when everyone was supposed to enjoy every minute. It was their seniors prom yet Jaejoong felt gloomy than ever. He didn’t have any date for the night. It wasn’t that he was choosy to bring someone. It was just that he didn’t felt like it.  
  
_(Well, more like he didn’t felt like going in with anyone other than ‘someone’. Yoochun even scolded at him, ‘You should’ve man up and ask him yourself rather than waiting like a complete idiot.)_  
  
And so just for the sake of the fact that it would be their last year, he ended up coming. He was just in the side, watching as other people had their fun. Of course he had his own fun but he couldn’t fully enjoy with Yunho far from him since they weren’t in the same class,  _(And Jaejoong wanted to curse so badly, asking his self why he was so unlucky he couldn’t share same class with Yunho again unlike in their fourth grade.)_ and everyone was seated by class and it seemed Yunho was enjoying the company of his classmates. And so that night seemed to be blur to Jaejoong, not worth remembering or so he thought until…  
  
“And for the last song to end the night, let’s have the song ‘So Close’ from the movie Enchanted.”  
  
Jaejoong wanted to roll his eyes because of how their teacher greasily announced the last song earning squeals from girls  _(The song became popular with their batch after their literature teacher used the movie for visuals aid in their subject and the scene in the ballroom left deep impressions especially to those who were hopelessly romantic.)_  but decided against it, it was no use anyways but instead a long sigh escaped his lips. Last song meant it was already the ending of the night and he didn’t manage to interact with Yunho except the greeting they shared earlier of the program and that was it. Of course, he could dance this last song with Boa, one of his closest friends but he didn’t feel right about it and he so he just sit it out until in the middle of the dance floor, his eyes met Yunho’s brown ones.  
  
Yunho had been dancing with a lot of his female friends and Jaejoong wondered who’d Yunho dance the last song with. Jaejoong snapped out of his reverie when he realized his best friend was taking long strides towards his direction that Jaejoong found himself panicking all of a sudden.  
  
Jaejoong swore he felt like his heart skip a beat the moment Yunho stood in front of him, dashing  _(and sinfully sexy)_  inside a black tux contrasting against his white one.  
  
“Yoh!” Yunho greeted and Jaejoong could only give a nervous laugh.  
  
“Joongie, can I have this last dance?” and even before Jaejoong could protest at Yunho’s abrupt request, Jaejoong was gently pulled towards the dance floor. The next thing he knew, his hands in each of Yunho’s shoulder blades  _(which was actually put there by Yunho himself)_  while Yunho’s where around his waist as they sway as the slow music resonated at the whole hall. His heart beat harmonizing with it and Jaejoong pondered if Yunho could hear it too and so shyly he looked down.  
  
“You thought I forgot you huh?” Yunho spoke, making Jaejoong to look up and meet again Yunho’s eyes.  
  
“Well, not really. Though I wasn’t expecting this knowing it would be weird to have two guys dancing at this kind of atmosphere.” Jaejoong said, quite shock to his self the he actually managed to talk despite the nervousness he felt, especially knowing there were really people looking at them.  
  
“So what…” Yunho shrugged, just taking a glance around them before smiling again at Jaejoong, “I promised myself I’d get a dance with you and look, I save you the last dance.” Yunho said with a smug.  
  
Jaejoong clicked his tongue but smiled nevertheless. Yunho’s words somehow erased his nervousness and fully let him enjoy this one last dance.  
  
Right that moment, Jaejoong’s heart burst out many emotions like fireworks spurting with different colors against the dark sky but it didn’t feel bad but rather it felt comforting and pure bliss that it did also calm his heart.  
  
Jaejoong felt warm and appreciation as Yunho held him, gently across the dance floor. He felt importance and comfort as the younger one lead their sway and when Jaejoong looked directly to Yunho’s eyes, he saw care and maybe even love…  
  
But when the last part of the song was reach, reality came crushing that it crushed his heart.  
  
“…So close yet so far.”  
  
Jaejoong looked up, seeing Yunho smiling at him. Jaejoong blinked, his heart beat started racing once again because he knew the end of the ride was fast approaching when he just got pulled down from the peak of this roller coaster ride.  
  
  
  
  
  
Before he knew it, the graduation eventually came and everything was blurry since their prom night. It was like Jaejoong completely shut off about his issues because he was afraid that if he let it be, he’d lost that memory of the night sooner than expected. He was hopeless since Yunho didn’t discuss yet what his future plans were. Well, he wasn’t required but Jaejoong wanted to know. He was restless about it. He didn’t know anymore what to think. Call him crazy but something tick off right at their last dance that made Jaejoong paranoid. Maybe he wasn’t ready yet to be separated with Yunho. Heck, they weren’t even together. Now, he wondered if he was actually obsessed now with Yunho? Those feelings were what you would call love but obsession  for the other’s attention.  
  
_‘This is bad!’_  He told his self but then his heart was aching especially this would be their last night in high school, the last night of security for that Yunho was with him in through all those years. He bit his lips, trying to rational but seeing Yunho saying goodbye and congratulations to their other batch mates made Jaejoong see the reality that Yunho would say it to him too. He thought maybe it would be better if he confessed already since there were no guarantee that they would be seeing each other in college. So it was okay since he wouldn’t be seeing Yunho’s reaction may it be rejection or hopefully not rejection but then this was really nerve wrecking and the adrenaline that pumped at his system for that fact they really graduated already didn’t help either. Curse his over thinking mind!  
  
“Joongie!”  
  
Jaejoong jumped at Yunho’s greeting which earn an amused smile from the latter. The latter then asked, “You okay?”  
  
“Ah yeah… just can’t believe it.” Jaejoong excused his reaction and shyly smiled to Yunho who was now in front of him.  
  
“Hahaha~ Well, you better believe it. It just ended a while ago. Congratulations to us!” Yunho cheered and Jaejoong didn’t know how to answer that since he was really feeling giddy about it. He just nodded and mouthed quick ‘ _Congratulations too’_  before biting his lower lip.  
  
“Come here.” Yunho then suddenly grabbed his right hand with his and pulled him closer as Yunho’s left arm wounded around him in a tight hug, their intertwined right hands in the middle of their chest. Jaejoong blushed at the sudden hug but didn’t care anymore as he just put his other hand in Yunho’s shoulder and leaned his head in Yunho’s other shoulder.  He was indeed tensed and needed some sort of assurance.  
  
Maybe their prom night was really the peak of the ride that he came crashing down from it because he knew the next stop will be the last stop. He admitted he panicked about it, getting paranoid all of a sudden. Questions suddenly flooding in about how everything would go from now on. Would it stay the same or change drastically. Would it be for the better or for the worst? But when Yunho spoke words before they parted ways that night, Jaejoong knew the roller coaster ride had ended in a good way.  
  
“Afraid you’ll miss me? Don’t worry. It seemed we’re heading both for Seoul in college so you’ll see a lot more of me. I never intended to cut ties with you anyways because you’re one of my best friends and a special person to me, Jaejoong.”  
  
Jaejoong actually had a tear in the corner of his but smiled through it and playfully pushed Yunho off, saying he was cheesy but both of them ended with a fit of laughter before another hug was shared that night.  
  
Jaejoong then learned that he did forget one thing about this whole roller coaster ride, something that was present from the very start of the said ride. He was too busy to think of the ride that he overlooked something. Because while taking a ride, a safety bond held you safely all through the ride, just like  _friendship_  that would always connect them together throughout the year. Though honestly, Jaejoong knew to his self that he wanted more that friendship from Yunho but then it finally dawned to him…  
  
…maybe it wasn’t really a bad thing that the roller coaster ride did end, because maybe it was time to step up and take  _new heights._


End file.
